


the shape that i'm in now

by montivagant



Series: we should run away, oh someday [1]
Category: Batman (Comics), Iron Man (Comics), Under the Red Hood
Genre: Implied/Referenced Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Past Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Post-Iron Man #182, Post-Under the Red Hood, a normal amount of 616 tony stark self hatred, i know the timeline makes no sense just roll w me okay they're both in their mid/late 20s, rhodey is iron man rn but he's not mentioned in this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-12
Updated: 2019-04-12
Packaged: 2020-01-12 02:39:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 705
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18437306
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montivagant/pseuds/montivagant
Summary: Tony's released from the hospital, and for once, he doesn't want to go back to Iron Man. Jason helps out.





	the shape that i'm in now

**Author's Note:**

> you read denny o'neil's iron man run once & it won't leave u alone. but since no one else has read it, some context: tony loses his company & starts drinking again, ends up homeless in new york for over half a year, almost dies in a snowstorm & then ends up in the hospital for a while bc he's real fucked up. there's a lot more but that's the gist of it.

He can feel it inside him, the discomfort he's supposed to be feeling right now, the exact words he could say to get out of this--this situation? No, that's wimping out, this impressively shitty part of town--and he knows Jason would (outwardly?) understand, he knows he'd be politely escorted back to somewhere nice and shiny safe. He can feel it inside him. He also feels, just as strongly, a connection. Like this is where he should be, this is where he fits into the world, where his world will make sense, maybe for once in his life. 

(And he reminds himself that drinking wouldn't slot him into place even better, he swears he recognizes an alley they pass by, and he reminds himself that drinking keeps him out of step with the world, with other people, like the person he's with now.)

Jason. Jason is.. warm and solid. Tony is hiding his face in Jason's back on this (very nice, very very nice) motorcycle ride. Jason is solid and present, grounding. Tony hopes his grip around the other man's waist isn't too tight, and what else is that but a sad reflex of formality left inside him.

Tony Stark, Billionaire, isn't a person he can reach so easily right now. And he's not sure what to call whoever he is right now. He's never been sure what to call himself stripped of all masks. Is he a different person? Is he the same? He must be different.

(He swears he knows this alley, squashes down a memory like a bug and refocuses on his grip on Jason. No point in getting out of the hospital barely an hour ago if he's just gonna die anyway. Especially now that he's decided to live.)

He'll ask Jason where the nearest AA meeting is. That's a promise he'll make to himself now, while he still has effort left inside him.

 

There's a garage. Tony's glad of that. He doesn't think he wants to be outside for very much. Or at all. His body is cold where it wasn't pressed tight against Jason, and pulling himself away from the man is.. hard.

Tony wonders for a minute why Jason's doing this. He was drunk when they fucked. Did he--he doesn't usually--is there a nonzero chance he hadn't fucked that up? However long ago it was. Tony's not quite sure of time right now, he's not quite sure just how long it's been. 

"Give me your right ring finger."

Tony blinks. "Huh?"

Jason doesn't sound... annoyed, at all, when he speaks again. "Right ring finger, here," his right hand is out now.

Tony's hand moves before his brain does, and it only catches up in time to feel Jason's hands. Rough and warm. Callused. Then his finger is being pressed against a pad. There's a beep. Jason nods.

"You have access now. To the whole," Jason gestures at a, uh, it's a door.

"To the.." Tony trails off, unsure suddenly of, not just what Jason's meaning is but also why he's here. Why is he here?

"To the safe house. The whole," Jason decides to open the door instead of fumbling over more imprecise words. Then, well, not push but, gently shove, Tony through the door.

"Sorry I, I, sorry."

Jason shrugs. “It's fine. I know you're a little, uh,”

“Half dead?” With a half grin. The most Jason's seen out of Tony since finding him again.

A sigh, a vague hand gesture. Jason'll never say it outloud but there's an itch in the back of his head telling himself this was a bad idea. Tony has friends, like real ones, friends who definitely know more about Tony and this situation than Jason ever could.

Jason has no idea how to contact those people. But, he could alw--

"Nice place."

And the sincerity in Tony's voice, a man who Jason fucked in a bed bigger than the bathroom in this safe house, and a bathroom bigger than the living room they're in now, that makes up Jason's mind.

"Make yourself at home. I'm gonna go check the kitchen." He can't remember if he'd left anything to drink in there last time. He'll have to dump it.


End file.
